Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wished and Missed

so many times i say "i wish i would be home" i wish i could loose some weight " i wish i dint earn peanuts " so on...though mind it these three are topping my wishlist now.

As a kid how i wished to grow up,wear make-up, high heels,drive my own car, have lots of money to but toys and choclates (please note that was my wishlist at 7) i always looked at awe at grown up girls in my neighbourhood. Every sunday evening i would see them in pencil fit jeans, red lipstick , blow dried hair and driving out of the conservative colony i spent my childhood in. This much talked about girl was said to be "characterless" since she wore red lipstick,drove a car, wore sleeveless tops and had some men dropped her off home on some office days. But for me she was like a symbol of everything i wanted to be..."characterless"

By the time i turned 16 my wishlist had changed,completely. i definitely dint want chocolates since i had to maintain my waistline. All i cared for the good looking basketball player of Loyola, the same who was the most discussed in all our pyjama nights, the one who received the highest number of blank calls. Every waking minute was spent thinking of "Ashutosh", calculating our love percentage, counting how many red t-shirts he had or did he repeat the same one and as my friends recollect how i receited the "Ashutosh Chalisa". Life was only love , true love,one that meant marriage , lots of candle lit dinners, lots of "my heart will go on " and babies with the man i love. My man in shining jersey would save me of my woes of chemistry equations and physics after we married. ..Ashutosh is now happily married with someone in Kenya, working in an oil rig!!!Ah Love thy woes!!

At 21 i pretty much dint wish for anything,cuz my life was a dream.staying with 4 girls in a flat,midnight scooty rides to drink chai at the station,vodka and breezer weekends in the club.Maggi was soul food and Alanis Morisete knew what i was humming all day when she sang "complicated". Sitting on the "katta" of the most happening college in town with the most wanted studenst,hi-fived by the stud of the college,shopping with the college butterflies,being known as "bong babe" by could just not get any better. And yes i did score a First Class with distinction amid all this,which made me determined to get into Mass Communication .

At 24, i was in my 3rd semester MBA, unhappy with life and accounts. I wanted to get rid of the presentations and asignment. Having a bunch of young roomies dint help either since studying during exams became a challeneg as each one had found an agony aunt in me,whose doors were always open to maggi coffe and conversation.Life went on, as i realised how chemistry left me somewhere in between and compensation management became the new pain in the apt place.

At 27, working 9 hours a day, dealing with egos and clients bigger than their shoes,shuttling between the world of emails and chapatti ,nursing a grumpy husband out of bed and talking to a boss who owns a Ferrari pen, comforting my parents as they set to hit the "senior citizen" category, pasta baking and sharing a joke with relatives on phone, feeding the goldfish(the valentines day gift) watering the plants while keeping a track of how many cigarettes are smoked by the husband, handling the entire worlds mood swings forgetting any of my own...

just left with a blog to write down everything i wished and missed ..


template by