A First Letter for my Daughter

Dear S

I love you more than I could never knew my heart could love anyone ! yes I keep telling your father, how much I love him, well that’s because he is worse than you in expressing his love for me. He usually has a habit of getting me food in the bed, putting away a cup in the sink or just sit next to me and watch TV, pretty much the perfect way to make me realize that he loves me a lot.

But with you darling its different, even before I start telling you how much I love you, you look at me with those big bright round eyes and right there, I become an emotional snowball. And then when you open your mouth wide and give me that toothless smile with the gurgle…I realize you are the best in our family when it comes to expressing love.

Every morning when you wake up with two tired snoring parent on each side, you stay quiet, happy to play with your hands and feet, busy cooing at the big watch on the bedroom wall and basically letting those two sleepy heads get an extra half an hour of sleep. It surprises me that Ma and Baba keep yawning and lazing around when they wake up but, the minute you open your eyes and see us, its always always a big wide smile and those legs throwing in the air. There is so much we have to learn from you dear daughter, about never ever complaining about people whom you love.

I look at you and wonder when you grew up so big to be able to sit up completely on your own, always reaching for new things to play with, to explore. Always looking at bright colors, looking out for sudden noise and sounds that come your way, always analyzing a new face and then taking a decision if its safe to go or stay put in Dadus arms . And Ma Baba are so tired of new projects, facing new challenges at work, sitting up and riving for so long and then guilty of sometimes being too tired to play with you.

Perhaps the biggest fear which I have in my heart id when I step out to office everyday, till about a month back you used to smile and look at me as I walked down the stairs, but off late those eyes get all round and wide and makes my heart break. We can still manage to run and land a kiss on your cheek and by the time you realize what just happened, I run away. Why ? Because Ma and Baba are afraid that you will put your hands out, wanting to be taken by us, and we will be in a hurry to rush to work. Does that change anything when you see us in the evening..No. You are the happiest and most excited little girl in your rocker when you see us in the evening. The entire day your Dadu Dida tell us you have been the most amazing child ever, not troubling anyone, not fussing while eating, sleeping on time, laughing and rolling on the bed with Didu  and sitting and watching cricket with Dadu.

And did I tell you that on some evenings Ma and Baba come home with a back ache or a migraine, we take a medicine and catch a quick nap. But you don’t trouble us, rather you also catch a quick nap to wake p fresh and play with us, when we wake up. When Ma has a stomach ache she is grumbling and cribbing all day to Baba. But you are a brave brave little girl, who takes her shots and does not cry for more than 10 seconds, you just need Ma’s arms and you are back to being the chirpy little girl. We have so much to learn from you S and this I want you know because you are the best part of Ma Baba.

Last but not the least, please be this cheerful happy healthy and friendly little girl always, because even though Ma Baba go to work come back home late we want to gather the best for you as you grow up.i know we cant get you the stars but we will always make you feel on top of the world. You Baba works so hard so you and I have the perfect little life in our home. Ma goes to work so she can always pamper you a little more and bribe you a little more than Baba. Someday when we both are ridden with guilt for not being able to spend time with you, promise us you will still smile and touch our cheeks like you do now.

We love you more than we could ever think we could, and we will leave no stone unturned to make you smile , to fulfill all your drams, try and give you a beautiful life. And We know God has worked His plans for the three of us and we will all walk hand in hand !

We are 4 years old on the 11 !!

So we turn 4 years old is it ? was'nt it just yesterday that we met, you fumbled with the lime wedge on your glass and i was awed by your fingers ?

Was'nt it just yesterday that you sent me a simple text and I knew what it means to smile till your cheeks hurt (well you make me do this every single day )

And then we decided to build our very own place, the choices over the curtains, the selection of grills and designs, the quick lunches and bargaining in the dingiest lanes of the City.

Today we live in the warmest, fuzziest and brightest little nook of our own, filled with flowers, smell of cinnamon, a very huge book shelf, a cupboard full of amazing clothes, a wall framed with our memories and a couch giving that has become a family member, seeing us cry, laugh, fight, snuggle over it !

Was'nt it just yesterday that we cried with joy when we learnt about the little life inside of me and today tell me that same little tiny heart beat laughs and gurgles and wakes us up at 2:30AM or 6:30 AM.
It seems just yesterday that i told everyone that that I have you and life is perfect, and now with S we have everything , our hearts ebb with so much love that we never knew of before.

I could do something fancy for you this Anniversary, we can perhaps take a drive alone, with some Absolute and chicken wings , or lets plan a Movie night ?
But we aint doing any of the above are we ? Can we leave our dear old couch behind on such an important day, so we will be very wasted and lazying on the couch with a snoring 6 month old marshmallow of a daughter, while the Absolute and Chicken wings give us company.

4 years have seen maybe three or four major big fights, the regular tussle of the in-laws, the mandatory argument over expenses, the ancient issues of "I am always the one to say a  sorry and you dont " but not even for a single minute did I wish to be anywhere but our home, with anyone else but you and not a little doubt about the man i decided to marry 4 years back.

You have been the most beautiful part of my "coming to age" someone with whom the big 30 this year will just be a number i touch, because you have let me keep the child in me alive.

We have been blessed with our greatest prayer, he one we loved even before she came in our arms. S has been our greatest achievement, the biggest blessing the world has to offer and I can not thank you enough for agreeing to put all your plans aside and go ahead with my wish for a child. I know you secretly thank me everyday for this decision, because i see your eyes twinkle when you hold that little marshmallow of ours !

Its me who decides on the dinner we eat, but its you who makes it a family dinner, when you talk about your work, the squeaking car tyres and the almost deaf boss !

Its me who plans to stay up and play with S on Fridays but you are the one who is snuggling with her while i snore on the other side of the bed.

Its me who decides what clothes would we three be wearing for a party, but you who make us feel like the center of the universe, with just your hand around my waist while we walk in, or the way you carry S and cradle her throughout a party.

Thank you for always being so empathetic to my needs as a person, my desire to succeed and letting me follow my heart and always saying "go for it, we'll see what happens" Believe me those are the strongest words i need to take that first faltering step.

And inspite of my wish to grow as a person, as an individual , as a professional  , nothing matters more to me than you both and our families.

So I know 4 years back when i met you and thought you are the one i was right . I know you will give me laugh lines as we grow older and never let me fret over the wrinkles. I know I am in safe hands when you always use the most beautiful superlatives to express our relationship,

And you know what is it that touches me the most ? You always say "when " and never "if" when you talk about   plans on growing old  and how I fit in it.

Thank you for being the perfect man for me and my daughter..We love you much more than we say.

You are the one I want to wake up with, send a text to, share my day with, cook the dinner for, laze on the couch with, dream for our life ahead with,look into your eyes, talk about everything and kiss every single day of my life ! and of all the love stories i have heard of, ours is my favorite .

Happy Anniversary Baby