This blog post was inspired by Platinum Day of Love by Indiblogger
Thursday, October 17, 2013
I have always had an aversion for the yellow metal, and dispite its strong addiction quotient in our community I never did fathom the craze for it.
As a Bengali ,your life begins with Gold, rather when I was conceived, the story goes, that my grandmother got a golden statuette of lord Krishna in the prayer room. After 9 months ,on my arrival, she had said “I got my share of a golden little Lokhi(Lakshmi) also”
As a kid, I would remember Ma taking me along to the various jewellery shops in old Kolkata, peering over intricate designs, checking the weight, asking the goldsmith about the purity and haggling on the price. As a token of appreciation, I would be given my “personal” share of “Norel gurer Roshogolla”. For those who are new to this let me make it easy…THIS is what good stuff is made of. I could any day trade G for a lifetime supply of Norel Gurer Roshogolla.
At 25 , the marriage Gods conspired and got me hitched with G.Our first meeting was over a glass of lemonade, having our respective set of parents taking a stroll outside so we could have some privacy.I told him some things clear and straight, I don’t eat/cook/like fish, I have a very big social circle and he would have to be nice to them if and when needed and finally, I want babies..lots of them and quickly. He has never told me which of these three confessions shocked him the most. In return he said” I have a Himesh Reshamiya CD in my car I listen to quite often.
As the wedding preparations caught speed, G and I prepared for our marriage. We sipped coffee and spoke of our love for books, we met near the sea and I told him of my childhood wish of walking bare feet on the sea beach with the man I would marry. He told me about his undying love for PS2 and how he and the wolfgang would spend their monthly earnings on bowling and go-carting. We discussed how our respective sets of families were preparing for the Big day, while we were busy discussing how we would plan my travel to work once I relocate to Pune.
I got the leave approved for my wedding a week prior and same was his story and since we were both “Probashi Bangalis” we had to travel to our respective hometowns where he functions would be happening. As we met for one last time as a boy and girl, the last walk as two separate names I realized I was very quiet. The usually chirp, talkative descriptive girl was thinking about what lay ahead. I was marrying a man whom I met 4 times in three months, a man who openly claims he would have been a fisherman if not a techie, a man who said his dream destination would be Beer and Prawns (that’s how he still perceives a holiday). I would no longer be the every night pub hopping girl my friends loved, no longer the one who would be tagged as “Single”..the game was changing.
And while I had these questions running in my mind, we found a little bench, just in front of the sea, to sit and take it all in. I remember sitting close to him , feeling the chill of the January wind. And he turned , faced me and just handed me a card. That’s G for you, the silent killer J I opened it and it said “I might not know what Bhalobasha is all about but I do want to ask you, Will you marry me ?”
And out came a tiny little box, and he opened it for me taking out a shimmering little band of Platinum. A simple, elegant and timeless band, which slid in perfectly into my finger. And I remember him saying “I know you don’t like Gold so I couldn’t do a solitaire, and also I have started saving for Ireland someday, so this is for now “
Today 6 years into being Mrs Mukherjee, that band has been my loyal companion on my job interviews, on special formal dinner parties,visiting the Gynaec for the first time on finding out i was expecting, on signing the ownership papers the day we bought our home, the drive back home carrying our 4 day old daughter,the day i took my bike out on the roads for the first time..its been with me sturdy like the emotion it represents. I have worn a Saree and sipped Vodka in it, I have sat by the Holy Fire praying
It was not just for then, but forever. Its been the most precious piece of jewellry I have ever owned, because it spoke of a man who has been the wind beneath my wings. That was the day we found love, on a little bench, facing the sea, and feeling the chill of the January wind, our Platinum day of love.
Posted by sulagna ™ at Thursday, October 17, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Two years of motherhood for me and parenthood for us !!
As Keya turns two, i question myself, is it the same tree climbing, playing in the scorching son girl who now has a child of two years. And c'mmon we all know that a child changes your marriage, i dont know about others but it changed ours.
There are days when i dont get a chance to talk to G even for a minute because we have each had such mad days , and once home, Keya is our focus. So what happened 2 years back on us returning home was slouching on the sofa with our feet rested on each other, talking over a cup of tea.And today there are times that i have re heated the tea twice, but he is way too engrossed with Keya while i help Ma in the kitchen.
Its of course a blessing to have my parents or his take turns and come and stay with us look after our girl , so she does not have to be in a daycare or with a maid, well not yet. But it takes a toll. I miss falling all over him on the sofa, i miss just doing nothing and being with him, i miss our weekend dinners, where we would sit and talk for hours and the wind would keep flowing.I miss seeing crystal vases on tables, or a clean clutter free house , i feel terrible about having to give away our Goldfishes, or about not giving any attention to the plants in the terrace. I have been the kinds who would wipe clean the kitchen platform till it shone, adjust the cushions on the sofa to the perfect tilt, buy flowers and place them on our bedside table every Friday night, pour into cookbooks on reaching home and cook up something special everyday.
Its all changed now.
G and I rush home to be with Keya, she is the best thing to have ever ever ever happened to us, sometimes i wonder what took us so long to go ahead and have a baby, but then when i think of all the memories G and I ahve made on our own, i think the wait for Keya was worth it. I change my clothe sin front of a 2 year old who comes and pokes at my kangaroo pouch everytime, something i wasn't too fond off . But now i realize, that kangaroo pouch, that mid riff of mine was where i created such a beautiful child. For me that pouch is just extra flab, but when i see that smile on her face when her tiny fingers poke it, its priceless, i wouldnt want to change that for anything in the world. G has always been the non expressive kinds, the ones who's eyes and gestures need to be read cuz he knows no words to express. He can program high end cars all right but a simple compliment is usually a tough job. So there are times when we are walking in a mall, me in my jeans and flats with a comfortable shirt, so it doest pinch Keya, that i feel his arms around me, and thats it . Is'nt that what love is all about , when you accept each other with a kangaroo pouch and crumpled shirt. i have always been very picky about my clothes, their colors etc,so G tried buying me clothes but we would often go and exchange them to something of my choice. How Silly Sulagna !! dont you know when the man got a dress , of a color of his choice, you would look beautiful in it to him , and that is all that matters.Our date nights ahve reduced drastically, infact now its almost nil, so we wait till the house is quiet, Keya si asleep, my parents are sleeping in their room, that we sit down to eat. So what if we eat and watch TV, i get to sit with him, tell him how my day went, and he cribs about the kind of people who drive on the roads theses days.And thats our time, those 20 minutes of dinner and tv and talking is what we had for all those fancy date nights. And I am in my shorts and faded tee, but it doesnt matter. What he sees is a woman who is helping him create their own worls, his daughters mother, a woman who works on the family's finances, a woman who can fend for herself and the family if he needs to travel, a woman who can speak her mind and carry an interesting conversation with anyone. Thats how a woman becomes beautiful , thats what makes you special.
So yes a 2 year old daughter, a marriage of nearly half a decade, and there are some big changes happening..
Posted by sulagna ™ at Thursday, August 22, 2013