Friday, April 8, 2011

Love and other disasters

What is it about relationships that convert our brains into sawdust ? what is it about expressing your emotions that one chickens out ? what is it about insecurity that makes us cringe and suffer all by ourselves? what is it about betrayal that never teaches us a lesson and we tread on it again?

In the past 2 years of blogging, i have got so many friends who have along the way, shared their lives, their loves, their heart breaks with me. A lot of time i get questions on "how did you get to meet G?" or "how do you know he is the right guy?" "how come you dont get bored of eachother " " dont you guys fight at all " "i wish i would find my perfect man/woman soon "

And everytime i love saying the same thing "that perfect person is tucked away somewhere, perfectly unaware of your existence, but equally eager to meet you "

Your perfect girl is not necessarily going to have a flawless complexion and skill sets to quench your various appetites. She will just be a regular girl, whose one funny statement, or one silly gesture will make you get up and take notice. She probably would find your blogging stupid and sharing your life on the web, ridiculous, but then, she becomes the subject of so many of your posts.

He is probably the kinds who shies away from people, while you love standing on the bar and dancing. He probably will think you are one insane girl to do that, but perhaps the minute you topple over and laugh at yourself, he realises, she aint that mad...just a little more !

How difficult is it for you to tell him that you like him ? its not like his denial would crash your world. There are loads of fishes in the sea, you just need to find another one who agrees that swimming under the sun, drunk on Vodka is as much fun as you think.

So he stays miles away and just talking over the phone aint enough. You need to hold him close, you want to put your head on his shoulder for the next movie you watch, you want his fingers holding yours, everytime you get scared of crossing the road. Isnt it awesome you actually can picture doing all this with someone. When you put your head on the pillow and ear to the phone you can actually tell him, you wished he was with you doing the silliest of things.

the enxt time you fight, imagine , you would not even like to think of him being with you, just for those 2 nights though. I am sure the fight does not see a third night :)

Do you know G works in an office where i have seen women wear sports shoes with churidars and bindis with skirts(ankle length). its kind of relaxing to know the company he has is not threatening. But yes, when he is travelling abroad in countries where Geisha's are found on roads, porn industry is legal, and office attire ends at your knees, i do  dont have disturbed nights. The man knows he is one of the luckiest on this planet to have a wife who gets him Jack Daniels and Zippos for his birthdays, i am sure he doesnt want to loose that. And oh , i have no clue of his call register or inbox.(actually he has some 780 messages from me in his cell, he deletes the others)

Of course there has been trouble once in a while, when he picks up my cell to make a call to his mom and he sees a mysterious number :) in the 3 years of marriage the mysterious number last appeared last year :) Thats because no one is more precious to me than my man, no one!!

How often do you send an "i love you " message from your cell, just random, out of the blue. Maybe the sight of a cheesy lasagna ad, which you want to share with her , tempts you to do so. Maybe the red silk lingerie on display makes you feel like being around her, maybe a really nice Boss watch at the mall, makes you think of him...so whats stoping you from saying so? yeah i know sometimes the reply comes after 2 hours (ask me!) but so what, who said everything is supposed to be equal. He will never look as hot as you do after a work out and she will never beat you at Scrabble.

Lets not be those who stop others from dancing, lets not be one of those who think drinking in public is bad, lets not crib about the cigarette packet in her purse or in his car, lets not cry over the girl he had kissed in his garage at 16, lets not sulk about the boys who stalk her on FB. None of it makes one bad, none of it makes one gross or loud , none of it makes one uncouth. Its what she likes now and what he enjoys doing today. Tomorrow will be different and if you want to see the difference, stay by him, hold her hand and think about what i said " the perfect person is tucked away somewhere, maybe she is the one, perhaps he is the perfect guy, stop searching. Stop finding faults, give up complaining. Just think how lucky you are, that you have someone to fight or complain to. A lot of us dont "

42 comments:

Nikita said...

Awww.....this is such a lovely advise.....

hugs...hugs..hugs....

Anonymous said...

Hi sulagna, u actually make me believe that Idea of arranged marriage is not at all bad. My room mate is a loud female working in a bank while her husband is a quite techie teaching at IIT. They are different but still make a great pair, today I saw him packing her bags, wow.

Yes, sometimes it feels bad to realize that I don't mean a thing to the man who means world to me. But it's OK, I am waiting for that person who will father my kids( TWINS).

Me-Era* said...

Beautifully written Sulagna, just like you always do.

And yeah, I have stopped waiting. I know he is there and when its time, he will be here, with me. :)

Shivani Negi said...

Yessss this is what i always feel about N. Everyone faces ups and downs but the same way as you said i explain my heart...that sweety think of how lucky you are, u have got the best and actually when i think bout my friends(some are really going through alot),i feel i am soooo blessed....

xx
Shivani

Tanvi said...

Such a sweet and awesome advice!!! I would stand by your words too ... We need to see beyond the faults ... everyone has them ... but everyone doesn't love you or care for you. It is important to stand by the person you love ... and everything does get better.

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♡ from © tanvii.com

TurbulentMind said...

It's a great post :) full of hope and love. :)

piyu said...

Beautifully wriiten as always :)
Your posts never fail to awwwww me :D

sulagna ™ said...

Thanks a lot guys, i was hoping to get the point across that relationships marriages all need their time to heal and get healthy.none of us are perfect and its unfair to expect the other to be so.and like i always believe in, a little forgiveness can work wonders for everyone's troubled heart.all i wish is let everyone and every single soul experience love, with mom dad, friends, partners, a stranger and of course your adorable pets too.

The world would become such a beautiful place na !

So anyone reading this, if you are in the midst of a fight, make an attempt to get over it right now. A simple text saying "i love you " will be super (send it even if you ain't fighting )

i love you guys : )

oRange* said...

Missed your posts Su!
They always make me smile even if I'm having the lousiest of days :)
Love :*

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Picture Perfect. :)

And so true realizations... you made me dream along :)

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

☆ Rià ღ said...

Loved this post totally...and yes i completely whole heartedly agree with each n every thing that u hav said. :) U echoed my sentiments on finding "The One".

Comfy said...

Something we all need to remember, no matter if we have that person in our life as of now or not. :)

Ritu S said...

Lovely post... the most sincere thoughts most beautifully laid out :) Having been married for almost three years myself, I can relate to every word you've put down. Its so true... sometimes we just need to take a step back and let life dance around us, instead of trying to make it dance to our tunes...

hAAthi said...

good to have you back with us :) and what a comeback this was!

♥ Duchess ♥ said...

Perfect ! :)

Jack said...

Sulagna,

Very sound advice based on personal experience. Once you have mutual trust and respect, everything falls in place. One should not look for perfect partner but try to be one.

Take care

Unruly Rebel said...

well this one was cute...i at times wonder how gals could be so good at making things work, even if they are not meant to be that way... :)

Dreamer... said...

hey this was such a lovely post...with love and hope pouring out...your posts always make me realise how precious a gift our life is...

•Jeweliot• said...

No one I know understands and knows love as precisely as you do. And I am glad I know you :p

:))

Love Guru ! ♥

You write beautifully about things that matter the most to me and things I want to hear and talk about all the time.

ishita priyadarshini said...

my God!!! i totally totally TOTALLY loved it!! please start writing professionally :)

Emreen said...

A lovely post... as usual... !!

Vivek Chamoli said...

Welcome back to Blog Stream madam Ji.

Vivek Chamoli said...

A very lovely post :)

take care keep smiling

Natasha said...

wow..What a beautiful post :) Missed reading your blogs..Thank God you are back..:)Love the way you write..

Bhagyashree said...

Very sweetttttt post....
loved d way u write Sulagna....Keep going!!!
Yeh Dil Maange more............. :)

Ramit said...
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विवेक Call me Vish !! said...

very enjoyable journey at your blog ....good work keep going !! why dont you come at my blog i hope u got something new !!

suruchi said...

Beautiful read Su,
and that last para just takes the cake...my god, look who's become all wiser along with being prettier:-)

Touchwood and god bless always:-)

Emreen said...

Sulagna,,,Each of your post makes me feel like reading the chicken soup for the soul series ... Any idea of going professional ...!!

Thanks for dropping by... and all those lovely comments !!

Prateek said...

I was about to begin my comment with the word "Perfect" but then in comments I saw too many perfections; excellent post. Everything was going so soothing and then the last stanza made the perfect closing. Awesome post Sulagna.

NJ said...

True to the core...you brought out this fact very well.

Rachit said...

Love is in the air.. just fly your hands in the snow.. stand up, dance with the swirling winds and catch that autumn leaf.

the nyanzi report said...

Ah, the love lottery, as I call it. Some hit the jackpot and find the one person that gets them, others keep on looking going on and out of relationships with the hope of one day hitting the jackpot!

Great post! You're so lucky you hit your jackpot.

Mary ♥ Mur said...

♥I love your blog so much.)) ♥

Sparkling Gem said...

How dare I miss this post....unfair

But I loveeeeeeeee it darling....u should often ...u get it ?

I wanna be filled with love often babes :)

And u said it all true....all isnt perfect its just we make them perfect and then all is cakewalk...love has its charm :)

And sweety do visit my blog...there is my birthday post and loved filled thanks :)

Its Scribbling Gal btw :)

Cardinal Ruby said...

Absolutely loved it !!

Anu Sharma said...

A nice and refreshing read :) Keep writing..

S said...

whenever i read your blog.. i smile :) you manage to make marriage sound sooooooooooooooo interesting :)
i want to get married every time i read your blog :P

nil said...

HOW did I miss this post?!?! :O
Sigh. 12th grade- excuse me just this once please :(

As usual, you made my day :)
The best part about your blog is, it doesn't matter if I'm 16 or 60.. there's so much of hope, and I guess hope is something that keeps us ALL intact!
I love you so much, thanks for this amazing post :")

hotpooja4u said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dew drops said...

:-) You just speak all sense and the beauty of it all is quite visible in people's comments.. :) so i guess it speaks more than i want to say!!Amazing !!!

Abhishek said...

lovely

 
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