Thursday, December 9, 2010

Hell hath no fury than a woman's road rage !!!

Every morning as i head to office, i keep practicing my swears ! i have been born and raised in Jharkhand studied in a convent, hence the versatility of abusing in Hindi comes from my state and the comfort of an english swear word comes from my schooling. Let me tell you before hand, i studied in one of the countries most polished institutes, but my school remains my favorite since, no other place could have helped me write better than what i do !

So coming back to my post title, road rage for me means a lot of things..let me explain

1.Monday evening i reach home and show G my promotion letter, the man is super nice and asks me to get dressed so we can eat out. On our way to Mainland China, during office hours, he casually changes the radio channels, talks about the new guy in his team who fasts 3 days a week and his boss who is hard of hearing. Meanwhile, i sit quietly, keeping an eye for a stray two wheeler who might come before our car. And it does !!
and the road rage happens
G "Ooops"
Me" what the bloody hell?? ass&*(#

2. Saturday morning, we finish our breakfast and head to the nearest Reliance Fresh, around 7 Kms from our home. We reach there by 11:15 since the guy who brings in the fresh supply of fishes had sent a text message to G, to reach at 11:15 so he can have the best prawns. The man is good at PR i say. So we slow down in front of Reliance to get a parking space, i see one and i yell "ohh baby look look there ! there ! " G says "Relax baby ". So he gives the left indicator , slows down and is about to take the left turn, when an uncle in a while Maruti 800 swirves it in !!! I promptly get down , walk upto the old B!@$#@# and say "uncle dikhayi nahi deta kya aapko, hum toh park karne waaley they" To which uncle walks out of his car, pulls out his wife and his two little angels and walks past me. I shout "disgusting idiots" and find an arm around me , G walks in "Baby lets go, i parked it a little ahead. Ignore such people"

3.I am one of those Activa riding women most of you curse on your way to office in the morning. I tried learning to drive, but i had one little problem. When someone/ something came in front of me, i tend to scream loudly instead of hitting the brakes. explains how i rammed our car into the parking lot last Diwali ! So for our last anniversary i was gifted my own Activa to get my movement going freely. So while i ride to work everyday, i am the kinds who looks in the mirror and then takes a turn. I am the kinds who gives an indicator while changing lanes and i am the one who is the last hope for womankind when it comes to two wheeler riding. So i keep practicing my swears when a Honda City overtakes me from the left, without even blowing the horn, and i scream "Saaley C^&*!$ "

4. Perhaps the best memory is when G goes to give the car fro servicing, i offer o go with him on the bike so we can come back on the bike. Actually from my place to the service centre is 350 bucks so i guess the bike is fine. Also gives me the opportunity to ask him to hold me tighter while i ride my bike :) Fortunately he aint the kinds to have an issue , with sitting behind a woman riding a bike. And when we stop in traffics and i slowly make my way between cars, i feel his hands tightening around my waist as he says "slow down baby" . Oh and did i tell you, i especially love overtaking an SUV and then going slow just before them, serves right o those ego fed idiots !

5. There is this turn to my house, where i need to cross the road from the left to the right to get to the lane , taking me to our home. That road is where all the IT geeks, frustrated men, sport shoe and salwar kameez wearing Alto driving aunties drive, so caution is advised. So inspite of giving my indicator, flashing my head light no one slows down, so i look out for one of those scary looking aunties, who drive with their lips tucked in, and back straight to look in front, and i cross the road !! and of course when they gimme the dirty look , i wink at them!! ahh the frustration on their face and the sense of victory on mine !!!

This post is dedicated to everyone who rides a bike r drives  car, please use your mirrors, please avoid driving on hi beam until needed, use your horn sparingly and use your courtesy in abundance !!!

29 comments:

The Bald Guy said...

Oh you're the best! Go girl go!

Raj said...

:)
and finally the animal in u reveals itself.

Suprabhat Mukherjee said...

Hilarious and contemptuous at the same time for the distressed condition of Pune roads. Loved the read.

PS: Whenever you endure such episodes in your car I recommend listening to Himesh ... always kept a CD handy (till it got flicked a couple times) ... and attain nirvana. Belligerent driving, incessant honking and other such gaffe’s have but one solution – tera tera tera suroor!

Ria said...

ha ha nice post. Yes such ppl get on my nerves. its a pain to deal with the traffic in such cities.

S said...

wooooooooahhhh...!!
Super wicked woman :)
the hopeless romantic in me got stuck at the fourth point :P
Way to go girl ! "Saaley C^&*!$" blew me over !!

:)

Scribbling Girl said...

Ur surely the best....way to go girl :D

Write often girl I so miss reading u nowadays

Shimmer said...

and so one must be patient when one the road. seriously! indian ppl have very less road decency, let alone we rarely respect a stranger on the road. :(

Alka Gurha said...

Very interesting....A different take on road rage at http://alkagurha.blogspot.com/2010/09/interesting-anecdote.html?spref=bl

sandhyaa said...

hahha..
i am also activa-riding-bitch on d road :P
and dude..Gopal IS a gem of a person...

HaRy!! said...

well activa riding...errr... wanna do a ad campaign like "why shud boys hav all the fun" ... yu might have a new tag line... oh and leav the swear words :)!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

hmm did somebody give you a pat on the back?
take it from me. :P

Nice read, you might just deflate a rider high on speed.

vivek said...

Hi Sulagna,

How are you? hmm very nice post. .. liked ur naration pictures came live.. you are ryt in India the road driving sense is nill..n if you come to Delhi. .you will very weired ppl they don't even keep footpaths free courtsy Bikers.. :-(( riding w/o helmet though fine is 500. ..but ppl do get through @ 100 - 200. . police is @ at its worst..
yes idiots burning gasoline running ferrai feels its their play ground and breaking signals is " aaam baat" 4 these spoiled brat. .when you learn driving its always taught. that seeing ppl crossing road. you must stop. . but again the big ego of drivers comes in picture.. n they press the accelerator. . that tym such mein mind looses control n some harsh words comes blazing. . to shoot them down. .. my 5words. .kutte. . gadhe. . bandar saale. .n idiot as obvious.. rest. . these words resides in my dictnary. .n are frequent flier via mouth....
sometime funny. .too

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

That is just sooo true! I just learnt to drive and got my dl, so that makes me a 3 month year old driver (who hasn't even ridden a cycle before) and everyday, I see so many people worse than me.
And driving on hi beam is the *most* irritating thing ever! It blinds me like crazy!

Natasha said...

haha..this post reminded me of my driving days in India(esp.Delhi!!)..Man...Was I an abuser or what...sometimes gaalis would come out of my mouth before I could stop it..And then would realize that my mom is with me and I would get her cold, cold glare..lol..Good times ;)

Anwesa said...

OMG ! Hilarious post :D

Alpha Za said...

I refuse to use my mirrors, after all, we all need a little danger in our lives.

neha said...

:)ur screaming instead of applying the brakes reminds me of my closing my eyes instead of hitting the brakes ;)

Creativity!! said...

Beautiful Post. A Good Message :) :)

tanvii.com said...

Hahaha!! YOu are sooo funny but I know what you mean by Road Rage. I am pretty calm otherwise but on roads I go crazy and my foul language comes out in full throttle too ... Nonetheless great read as always!

nil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nil said...

You ride a bike? you just turned into god infrotn of my freaking eyes.

I've mostly been ridiculed for wanting to be a rider instead of a driver. People find it "unuaual and masculine" coming from a girl. To all of which I've always politely replied with a nice cute middle finger :)

SO hence I really respect ladies who ride, not that I need a reason to respect you! this just inscreased the bar ;)
mwaah! <3

Pooja Mahimkar said...

I have to say I am just like you!!! Though its only 2weeks that I got my license.

suruchi said...

haha...so cute Su...
i so feel like abusing these people who bug the living daylight out of my otherwise happy driving day...
wish i had ur guts to mouth to them what i think...
it really is frustrating to watch the madness on road...
come to hamara uttar pradesh n u'd get a complete revision of all ur abusive skills:-)

Shalini said...

Lol.....I was actually imagining you mouthing abuses and Mr.G calmly holding you back...hehehe...cute couple.:D

Pesto Sauce said...

I despise the road rage in Delhi. Thank heavens traffic in Muscat is so organised

Geeta said...

I used to be a kinetic honda riding bitch and now I drive a car on cruise with out the live entertainment of our desi roads.

Nice write up. Enjoyed the read and was so nostalgic.

Di` said...

hahahhaha lips tucked in - back straight. they hold the steering wheel like it's jaan se bhi zada pyaara.

lol wish we could abuse the bad drivers in delhi too. if we do, we get raped! so..

lolll .. i shout "brakeeee!!!" instead of pressing the brakes.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

I used to find my mom stopping cars and abusing drivers on their faces, hilarious. Until I started driving and the cusses never stopped!

SOBs deserve it!

Kisses.

aritra the daydreamer said...

ha ha lovely....
sulagna di kemn acho??and new yrer first month kemn gelo??

 
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